“Stay present” or “Be present” or “The present is all there is” is a relatively common notion these days, one that has escaped its (I think) Buddhist context and filtered into mental health circles and culture more generally (as Buddhist themes are wont to do)(well done Buddha)(smashed it out the park) and recently I’ve been noticing the different ways in which “being in the present” can feel, or ways in which it can be useful, and many of these are actually quite surprising.
This time, let’s talk about: needs/wants/desires ending.
Noticing sensations starting and ending is mentioned as an early-ish stage within Insight meditation (I got the idea from Daniel Ingram ‘Mastering The Core Teachings of The Buddha’). I’m going to talk about desires and emotions ending in particular.
Apparently, psychology agrees that emotions don’t actually last very long (maybe 30 seconds tops)(I read it somewhere), however it’s possible to re-experience an emotion, and prolong that emotion far beyond the 30 seconds.
I don’t recall where I read this but I think that’s all they said and then I added my own thoughts as follows: how does one “extend” the emotion? I assume it’s with thoughts.
For example if you say to yourself over and over a little monologue of what made the emotion emerge in the first place you can make it emerge again, and it therefore feels continuous. Perhaps you can call up memories of the good/bad thing and that reinforces the emotion. I think this can feel like “processing” an emotion, but actually perhaps it is more like conjuring it.
Interestingly, this process is what we do when we’re starting metta, IE use words and thoughts to conjure sensations in the heart.
So, the background principle of “Being present” is an interesting one because if you’re being true to the principle of observing what’s happening right now, it becomes a way to observe this tendency to prolong emotions, then if you don’t do that “prolonging” thing, a way to observe the length of the initial bloom of the emotion. And crucially then to observe the fading away and end of that emotion, or the absence of the emotion moments later.
“Being present” means observing that an emotion, or a desire or physical sensation has ended and the “present moment” field has something else in it now.
In Ingram’s schema this stage of insight can make people experience a Dark Night of the Soul, because of the sadness related to the idea that everything ends. For me though, I find it comforting because it also means that (bad) things end too. I feel like I already knew good things end, that seems part and parcel of the ennui of life, but getting to observe bad things ending is a huge relief and enables equanimity.
The practical consequences are really interesting to me because this start/end process happens FAST and it seems at times hard to keep up, but at other times seems fun and funny.
I find myself stopped in my tracks as I go about my day and I think to myself “oh, I’m feeling sad” and within a few seconds I glance at an object then return to looking inwardly and notice the emotion has gone again. I think to myself, “oh, it’s gone again, lol” and move off once more.
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